Warning: Post Contains Strong Language
Since Sunday’s “Phase 2” announcement, the hottest question here has been what the government meant when it stated that as of May 4th, we could visit relatives who live in our own state (wearing a mask, I should add). I ought to explain that the decree uses an odd (and perhaps archaic) Italian word: congiunti, rather than the more commonplace parenti, which is what may have caused people to seek clarification. Subsequently, the government specified that by congiunti it meant relatives (up until the 8th degree of kinship) and a partner in a stable relationship. As you can imagine, the notion of a “partner in a stable relationship” unleashed all sorts of jokes, discussions, and has nearly broken the internet with memes and more questions of how exactly the government defines “partner” or “stable”, and most importantly how the police will enforce this vague concept. A meme is circulating of police interrogating a man in his car asking: “So, do you really love this girl or are you only fucking her”. This congiunti thing is going to cause mayhem. Italians are tired of being obedient, and now they are also horny. Surely this is a dangerous combination. Today I went to the pharmacy and the man in front of me purchased a pack of condoms. I really had to bite my tongue not to inquire if he was expecting a visit from his congiunti next week.
Incidentally, you may be wondering what constitutes a relative of the 8th degree of kinship. I certainly did, so I googled it and found a handy chart. This would be a second cousin two times removed. So, in other words, it could be your mother’s first cousin’s great grandchild. The only cousin of my mother’s I ever met was a nun, so that’s that. More importantly, is this whole story just a ploy to distract the people from noticing that the government doesn’t know how to deal with the real problem at hand: a pandemic?
In yesterday’s post I forgot to mention three important topics. Funerals, masses and schools. As of May 4th, funerals will be allowed again with a maximum of 15 people. However, mass is still a no-no. The Catholic church is very upset about this and raise an important point. If people can go on the metro, why can’t they go to a church which are spacious and can easily accommodate for social distancing? (The same point is being made by two hairdressers who have chained themselves to their salons out of protest at the June 1st reopening date) And, as was already quite clear, schools will definitely not be reopening. This is a huge problem for parents who have to go back to work and have no childcare. The government is working on some babysitting vouchers, but the fact remains that parents and mothers in particular are being greatly penalised by these decisions, and the government is doing too little to find a solution.
In closing, I am watching with interest what is happening in Germany, where lockdown measures were eased but the R0 is creeping back up. I suppose this is the inevitable dance we have been told about.